Connection & Fruitfulness

Fruit.  We talk about it a lot.  God has indeed called us to be incredibly fruitful people!  Multiplication, not addition growth.  The fruit of the Spirit.  Much fruit. More fruit. Yes, we embrace this vision! Fully and wholeheartedly!  And yet, so often, it seems far from our reach, more like a dream than a reality. Do you ever feel like that?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about connectedness.  Love creates connection between people.  There are some people we feel more “connected” to.  Some people we see every day but…we just don’t really “connect” with them well.  Love connects.  Fear disconnects. Love reaches out.  Fear withdraws, attacks or creates distance. Love helps us take risks.  Fear makes us hide our gifts, vulnerabilities and true self.

I’ve read John 15 many, many times. Im sure you have too!  Re-read it once again today and think for a moment about what it says regarding “connection”.  How connected are we to God?  Do we feel safe and loved by Him? At ease and relaxed in His Presence?  At Home? Or do we feel separated somehow by our self condemnation, shame, or even our anger with God for something He didn’t do that we expected?  Connection is vitally important, when we talk about fruitfulness.  Connection with God, connection with one another, within our families, teams, with believers, leaders we are training, and with those we are reaching out to! 

Let’s pray this month that God’s love in us will drive out fear and everything that gets in the way of our deep connection with Him.  Pray that we will “make ourselves at home” in His love in greater ways, resting in His goodness.  May we be so full of His Love that it overflows in ways we never thought possible.  I can see Love overflowing through you to others; bringing healing, comfort, words of prophetic encouragement, patience, gentleness, wholeness, joy….FRUIT…ABUNDANT FRUIT. 

Blessings on you as you increasingly CONNECT with Him and others this month.

Scripture for the Month: “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

^9-10 “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.

^11-15 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.” From John 15:5-15-The Message

Be Strong and Courageous

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Joshua 1:9  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

                In the first chapter of Joshua, the words “Be strong and courageous” are repeated four different times!  God was trying to get a message through to this new leader.  Moses was dead and now it was Joshua’s time to rise up and lead the people.  It was his season.  It was his destiny.  It was what God had prepared him for.  Yet, he was afraid.  He would face many difficulties and many challenges ahead.  There were battles to be fought, rivers to cross, and enemies to push back.  He was going into new territory, taking new land.  Joshua must have needed to hear those words more than just once.

                As church planters working in the frontiers we are much like Joshua.  We are taking new places and peoples for His kingdom.  We are going into new territory and pushing back the forces of darkness.  Sometimes we feel young and inexperienced.  Yet, like Joshua, we are the ones God has chosen for this task.  When he calls us he promises to be with us, to go before us, to fight for us,and to help us in every situation.  He speaks to us today, once again, “Be strong and courageous.  Be strong and courageous.  Be strong and courageous.  Be strong and courageous.” 

                This strength is not just a physical strength.  It is a strength of spirit, a strength of heart.  God spoke to Joshua and he speaks to us, “Don’t give in to fear and doubt.  Be strong in your spirit.  Rise up in faith and the power of God.  Be courageous!”  Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain… without fear.  To be courageous means to look at those dangers, fears or difficulties and to say “I refuse to let you control me.  I’m going forward in spite of you!”  This strength and courage comes from the sure knowledge that God is with us.  If God is for us, then who can be against us?  We have no reason to fear. 

                God had promised the Israelites the land long before they entered.  Joshua was taking them in  to take possession.  He went forward based on the command and promise of God.  As we work among unreached peoples, we must remember these two things.  God has promised to give us these people.  It’s already written in the book of Revelation that people from every tribe and nation will worship him.  God has commanded us to go to all nations and peoples with his good news.  We’re here because He sent us. So we will rise up and be strong.  We will face the dangers and difficulties with courage.  We will cross our Jordans and take possession of the people groups he has given us.  For we know our God is with us!

Questions to consider:

1.       How strong do you feel in your spirit today?  Speak to your soul the scripture above.

2.       What are you facing that requires courage?  What difficulty, danger or pain is trying to make you afraid to go forward or to keep working for God?

A Church Planter’s Prayer:

Master, you commanded Joshua to be strong and courageous.  I know you are also speaking this to me.  Please make me strong in my spirit.  Help me to face difficulties with courage, faith and confidence.  I give you my fears and challenges today.  Thank you for being with me and going ahead of me in the battle.  Amen.

IF THIS BLOG WAS ENCOURAGING TO YOU- CHECK OUT THE DEVOTIONAL BOOK CALLED "FAITH TO MOVE MOUNTAINS" THAT THIS BLOG WAS TAKEN FROM. YOU CAN ORDER AT A VERY LOW COST FROM http://www.kingdomadvance2013.com/Resources.html

Spirit filled Strategy for Multiplication

Limp Gloves

What do I need to be a successful church planter and missionary?  I’m called to be an apostle to the unreached in my area.  My heart longs to see them coming to Christ.  I pray and work to see people coming into the Kingdom of God, growing and being discipled.  I dream of seeing not just one small, struggling fellowship started, but of hundreds, even thousands from my people group coming to know and follow Jesus.  It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m doing my best.  I learn all I can.  I attend all the seminars.  I read books.  I pray.  I wonder…what are the keys to seeing my dreams for this people group come about?

 

            I go to one seminar on Leadership, and I learn about management skills.  I come home knowing that I need to clearly write out my vision and lay out my goals and objectives step by step.  I go to another seminar and I learn about team dynamics and team leadership.  Yes, I think, the key is for my team to work better together.  We need to understand each other’s personalities more, and function in our different giftings more smoothly.  I pull out my SOFM notes and books to study.  That’s it, I think, I need to focus more on the FM values.  Maybe I should contextualize our service more, or maybe we should do more with training the local leaders.  I talk to another leader from a nearby organization about these things.  “No, no,” they say, “the real key is prayer and ministering in the Spirit. All those other things are just philosophies of man.  You need more of the Holy Spirit.”

            I feel a bit confused.  I want to see my people group reached, but what does it take?  What do I need to do?  What should I focus on?  How do spiritual things like prayer, work together with strategic things like the principles I learned in my SOFM?

            Many serious and committed church planters experience these kinds of confusing questions.  It is important that we in Frontier Missions remember that strategies, seminars, and the many tools and teachings that are given, are only effective when they are Spirit anointed and Spirit led. Romans 8:14 says, “the sons of God are led by the Spirit of God.”  There is not only a balance between the spiritual and the strategic.  Instead, you can think of strategies and tools as a glove.  Without the hand of the Holy Spirit inside of them, giving life to them, they are limp and ineffective.

            Sometimes I think we spend too much time focusing on the glove or tool, and too little time reminding ourselves as church planters of our need for intimacy with God, fellowship with the Holy Spirit and a growing, alive, walk with Jesus.  If our relationships with God grow distant or dry, no matter how much strategy we know and how many tools we have learned to use, we are still only holding a bunch of empty gloves, which will fail to be effective.

            2 Cor.3:6 says “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant-not of the letter, but of the Spirit, for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”  Our competency as ministers, or our ability to produce good fruit and results, is not because of our skills as church planters.  Our competency or our fruitfulness flows out of our relationship with God.

            Does that mean we should throw all our notes from SOFMs and SCPLs and all our books on church planting strategy away?  No way!  What we must do though, is take all the knowledge and skills available to us and use them for God’s glory.  Not becoming proud in our knowledge, but depending deeply on Him and seeking a closer walk with the Lord each day.  Remembering that it is only as His Spirit gives life to our plans and strategies that they will bear the fruit we so much long to see.

Energy Management-A Critical skill for High Capacity Leaders

Energy Management – A Critical skill for High Capacity Leaders

As we develop ourselves in leadership, gain skills and capacity, there are more demands on our time and energy than ever before.  In many leadership trainings we talk about the importance of time management.  We talk about maintaining a calendar/diary so we keep better track of our schedules, we talk about setting priorities and blocking time in your schedule for those things, etc.  We all only have 24 hours a day that God has given us.  We have to learn how to manage our time well and focus on the important things, schedule those things, rather than the urgent or less needful things.  Managing your limited time well, and being in control of your schedule, is an essential ingredient to health as a leader.

It however, is not the only thing we need to learn to manage carefully.  Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their book “The Power of Full Engagement” address the key issue of energy management.  Energy is basically our capacity to work.  Our energy is limited.  It can be used up and it needs to be renewed.  The cycles in our lives of spending and renewing energy are something we as leaders need to seriously consider if we are to be all that God has called us to be.

I’d like to recommend Jim and Tony’s book to anyone who can take time to read it.  It includes some huge keys for us as high capacity/high demand leaders.  Let me write a short summary of some of the things I’ve been learning from this book and trying to apply in my life.  I hope it might be a help to you as these things have been to me.

Schwartz describes our energy as having four primary expressions; physical energy, emotional energy, mental energy and spiritual energy.  Each of these is important for us to carefully maintain and be mindful of how we spend and renew that area of energy. 

In order to be our best in the ministry/work we do, we obviously need physical energy.  There are three areas we need to be mindful of related to physical energy.  The first is nutrition.  Leaders who travel a lot can find it very hard to maintain a healthy diet.  YWAM Bases are notorious for serving high carb diets and when you are a leader, lots of oil and lots of meat are served to us. Nutrition, however, is really important to being strong and healthy.  The more responsibility we carry, the more we should be mindful of what we eat and don’t eat.  It’s okay to say no to unhealthy foods, ask for a salad instead of meat, or to bring your own piece of fruit to eat at a meeting instead of the normal chips and biscuits.  Don’t wait until you have high blood pressure or heart problems to start thinking about what you eat and don’t eat.

The second area is exercise.  Again, in our busy schedules with so many demands, it can be easy to not prioritize exercise.  Exercise is really vital for energy renewal.  Taking a 10 minute walk in the middle of the morning after several hours of meetings or ministry can do a great deal to refresh you.  Making time in your life for daily exercise, or a weekly football or cricket game, can make a big difference in your level of energy when you are doing your “ministry work.”  I am finding that short periods of exercise throughout my day greatly helps me maintain a higher level of energy throughout the day.  Stopping after 2 hours of emails, to do 10 minutes of sit ups and push ups, or go for a walk, or a 30 minute run, really changes the way I feel.

The third area of physical energy to watch is our sleep and rest.  I’ve talked to many leaders who don’t sleep well or struggle to sleep.  Getting enough rest and sleep is vital to energy renewal.  God designed us that way.  There are some things that you can do to sleep better.  One is, start to wind down about 2 hours before its time to go to bed.  Do things that relax you.  Don’t work on emails or discuss with your spouse intense topics or ministry problems.  Read a book.  Listen to music.  Write down 5 things you are grateful for in that day.  These kinds of rituals can help you sleep better.  Also, be careful about caffeine late in the day.

In the three areas of nutrition, exercise and sleep, develop habits or rituals that you carefully maintain on a regular basis.  For example, always start going to bed at 9 pm, start your relaxation ritual and be in bed by 10 pm.

Another important area is our emotional energy.  Emotional energy also is limited and needs to be renewed.  As leaders, we love deeply and give of our emotions to many people and situations.  We face conflicts and end up with drained emotions.  Carefully guard your emotional renewal.  Make it a priority to be emotionally renewed.  Everyone is renewed emotionally by different things.  For High D personalities and many others too, exercise is a quick way to emotional renewal.  For some, its taking time to go get a coffee with a friend, or playing with your kids, building a shelf, or calling up a cousin or relative to talk.  Gratitude is a big emotional energy renewal activity.  Taking time to regularly be grateful to God and others, and to express that thankfulness will restore your emotional energy.  I’ve started a habit of thanking God for at least 5 things before I sleep and when I wake up.  I regularly write notes or emails to express appreciation to people. This is good for them and also renews me. Another thing I started doing is to read funny comics or jokes until I laugh out loud every day. Make space in your life for emotional renewal.  As leaders and ministers, we need to be able to empathize with people’s struggles. This means our emotional tank needs to be refilled a lot.  Don’t let yourself think it’s selfish to take time to do things to renew yourself emotionally.  It’s what will help you be a better leader to others who can keep caring for others over the long haul.

Related to emotional energy, let me briefly mention the area of grief and loss.  As leaders we are often faced with crisis situations, and have to be there to help people through serious and traumatic situations.  This can drain a huge amount of emotional energy.  We also experience our own grief when friends leave, parents pass away, someone is tragically killed, or someone you’d been mentoring and raising up falls morally, or decides to move on and leave the work.  Give yourself space and time to grieve and feel the loss, talk and pray with someone about it, rather than just pushing it inside and continuing to do all the work you have on your plate.  If you don’t, those areas of loss and grief add up and one day might just make you feel like you have nothing left inside to give out anymore.  I know I’ve experienced this.

Then there is the area of mental energy.  Mental energy is about our ability to focus. We need to learn to switch between being narrowly and broadly focused.  Many people think the goal is multi-tasking.  A good leader learns to multi-task, we think.  Schwartz says that is not true, that it is more important to focus highly and well on one thing or person at a time.  When we are multi-tasking, we can make people feel less valuable or unimportant.  It is also good to remember that we need intervals of focus.  The average person can not maintain high quality focus for more than 45 minutes.  So, after 45 minutes in a meeting, take a break.  Change gears.  Don’t give in to that temptation to “just keep working and push through it.”  In the end, you will accomplish less.  Your mental energy goes down.  Take a five minute break and stretch, go get a drink, check the news…whatever works for you.  But taking breaks really helps with mental focus, both within the day and within the week.  Sometimes it can be a symbol of pride when we have these meeting marathons that go from early morning till late a night, sometimes weeks on end. Or we think it is the sign of a highly committed leader to say “I haven’t had a day off in a month!” This is not good stewardship of our energy.  Better to meet less and work less, but with more focused energy so we can accomplish more.

The last area is spiritual energy. Spiritual energy is not only about spending time with God and reading your bible.  Spiritual energy is also gained by being engaged with the things you value and growing in areas of character you value.  It also has to do with balancing of values within yourself.  When your behavior matches your values, this creates a lot of spiritual energy.  When your behavior doesn’t match your values, this is a big spiritual energy drain.  For example, if you highly value humility but find yourself acting proud or insecure, your spiritual energy goes down. If you value patience, but find yourself losing your temper, you’ll struggle with guilt and self condemnation a lot.  This is where a lifestyle of daily repentance, realigning ourselves and asking God’s help for what we have done that disappointed him and ourselves, is key.  Then ask for grace to grow and improve in that area and find someone to be accountable to or who can coach you as you develop new habits/rituals in that area of your life. Forgiveness and letting go of offenses is also really important here.  Keep short accounts and deal with issues and conflicts quickly rather than letting them build up.  Also, make sure you are giving time to the area you feel called to by God, and doing things that fit your gifts, rather than just going to meetings or doing things out of duty. This will help you maintain spiritual energy.

Lastly, I want to mention the area of change.  Don’t be stuck in the lie that you can’t change.  We all can change and grow into healthier people with God’s help.  But everything can’t change all at once.  Let me suggest you think about the four areas of energy and chose one or two things you want to improve in this month.  Then develop one new habit in that area.  Maybe its daily exercise.  Start small and be consistent.  Then next month, after that new habit has become easy and natural, work on another area and another new habit to help you change and improve. In a year, you could change in 12 key areas.  That is a lot of change!

I know God desires us to be full of His Spirit, healthy and full of energy every day. This is the abundant life he has provided.  Its not His will for us to be exhausted, tired out, or burnt out leaders.  God is teaching me new things about stewarding the limited energy He has given me well.  He is teaching me to pay attention to how much energy Im giving out, and to make sure Im taking time to renew that energy rather than just continuing to give when there is nothing left to give.  I know this is critical to my ability to continue to run this race with endurance, like it speaks of in Hebrews 12.  Hoping this article helps you to run well too.

*For more information about energy management check out the website http://theenergyproject.com or get a copy of the book “The Power of Full Engagement.”

 

Money Matters- Avoiding Paternalism & Dependency Part 3

In this third and final article, we will continue to discuss the dangers of dependency and paternalism.

We will especially focus on the giving and receiving of large financial gifts; of big things like land, property, vehicles, etc.  We will also talk about how dependency harms our ability to hear God’s voice and direction.

Whether we are raising money for someone, whenever a large amount of money is involved, we must be even more careful to avoid dependency and paternalism. The larger the gift we give, the more careful we must be in making sure that we are not controlling, paternalistic or manipulative.  We need to "close the door" in those areas so the enemy cannot come in and cause either the donor or those receiving the gift to sin. How do we "close the door" or set up barriers so that we don't fall into paternalism or controlling people we have given large gifts to? 

First of all let me suggest that if there are any expectations or strings attached to those gifts or grants, it should be very clear and in writing.  The person receiving needs to know this up front before accepting the gift.  For example, if you are giving a large donation to someone to use for a particular purpose and your expectation is to receive regular reports about that, it should be communicated to them that those are the conditions related to the gift.  If, however, you are making a donation to them that is personal, that should also be very clear and in writing.  If you are giving them money to use for the purchase of a house, or car, or for their child's college, then make it clear that this is their money to use as they wish, no strings attached to you or to the organization.  Personally, I do not recommend that you make those kinds of gifts directly.  It is very hard for them not to feel "indebted" to you. These are situations where an anonymous gift through someone else would be much better.

This is also a case where the setting up of a foundation or trust that they apply to for help removes the "control" factor that leads to dependency and paternalism.  If you feel called to help people in these kinds of situations, maybe it's better to think of setting up a filter or a way that you can give but that the decisions about exactly who that money goes to are made by a board or committee and there are certain requirements, application forms or policies.  This goes a very long way in removing the temptation to later use your past gift to over influence these people, or to demand loyalty to you and your way of thinking in an issue because they are "indebted" to you.  We must avoid that at all costs! This is devastating to our relationships within the mission community or family.

Let me close this series of articles by sharing why I believe dependency is especially dangerous in YWAM and why I believe it threatens one of our most important values- Hearing God's Voice.  Faith and Finances are very directly linked to our ability to hear God's voice.  Salary systems mean that we have a boss and we must do what the boss says.  When we have a job, we don't really have the option of hearing from God for ourselves. If we don't do what our boss says, then they can fire us and we know that.  So we do what they say, even if we don't prefer to do so. 

YWAM has been built on a foundation of Hearing God's Voice.  In my DTS this was the thing that really attracted me to work with this mission.  I could see that the leaders truly had freedom to hear from God and that they valued the word of the Lord enough to trust even DTS students to hear from God themselves.  The leaders didn't only hear from God and tell us what to do, but they wanted us to hear God ourselves and obey Him.  I'm so very grateful that our mission has operated from this principle for so many years and that it has been one of our most central values.

That is why I believe dependency, paternalism, and centralized fund raising is so dangerous. This is why macro business that provides regular support to a group of YWAM nationals is also very dangerous.  Let me explain this in a bit more depth.  When a foreigner (or South Asian who is good in business or has a lot of financial connections) raises money and then creates a centralized fund to support many workers, that fund has the danger of becoming like a salary system.  Not only does that national YWAMer  loose the amazing experience of seeing God do miracles to provide for them which builds their trust in God.  It also can potentially rob them of their ability to hear from God for themselves. 

Think back to my examples in the earlier article.  If they are in Frontier Missions for example, and receiving regular support from the FM fund which is provided by a particular macro business and they are getting 5,000 rupees a month from that fund, how much freedom do you think they will feel to listen to God speaking to them about a pioneering a children's home ministry in another area?  When we are dependent, we are much less free to listen to God's voice and direction.  We also can stop believing God for the impossible, because we are not regularly experiencing His answers to our prayers as we walk by faith.  We receive our same support each month, it is guaranteed by the "big leader" (be they Korean, American, or Indian).  In order to get that "monthly support" we need to do our jobs, turn up at meetings, etc. 

This is not the DNA of YWAM.  Our DNA is that we listen to God.  He asks us to do crazy, impossible things that are way beyond our own abilities.  We step out in faith and obedience. He shows up and does miracles to provide for us and the ministries he has asked us to lead.  This is a key reason why we have seen such growth in the past 50 years.  It is because this was our value.

What kind of YWAMers do we make when we raise all their finances for them and just supply it to them each month?  Are we allowing them the opportunity to learn the same lessons that we had to learn as we stepped out in faith and saw God do miracles?  Maybe we don't want them to suffer...even though our suffering led to our own character development and ability to trust God.  Maybe we don't believe God can and will provide for them, so we feel we have to do so.  This is called a God complex.  A God complex is when we step into the role of God in their lives.  It shows our lack of faith.  I admit it.  It's harder to watch others you love struggle in walking by faith then it is to do so ourselves.  But we must!  Or our "spiritual children" will never grow up to maturity.

I appeal to you, whether you are a foreigner or a national working among your own people.  Please consider these issues carefully.  Money matters.  It matters to God.  It matters in His Kingdom.  How we handle money can lead to weak and handicapped disciples, or strong and mature leaders who hear God's voice and obey Him with courageous faith.  This issue requires patience and much discernment.  We have to ask questions and think before we act.  We have to pray and listen to God, not just do what seems to be right or helpful but may not be helpful in the end.

I'm still learning, thinking, praying and listening...every day.  These situations will not go away but will continue to confront me regularly.  Though I have little hope I can completely avoid mistakes in this area, I pray that I will make fewer of them than I used to.

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Questions to Discuss:

1)   How does dependency affect our ability to hear God’s voice?

2)   What are the dangers of raising money for others in a centralized system?

3)   With larger gifts or more personal gifts, how could setting up an application system that has a board, help us avoid the dangers of too much financial influence or control over others?

 

Money Matters- Avoiding Paternalism and Dependency- Part 2

In the previous article, we were discussing two important words…dependency and paternalism. Dependency again is when we develop an unhealthy relationship with a donor where we start to look to them as the supplier of our needs rather than to God.  Paternalism is when we take the role of a parent and treat the staff we are raising money for or helping financially as if they are children.  Instead of trusting them, allowing them to mature, learn and grow in how to interact with donors, we don’t train them and we keep all the control in our hands.  For many years we keep them in the same place of dependency upon our maturity and skills rather than developing their own abilities.

To further illustrate some of the dangers of dependency and paternalism let me share a few situations I faced in the last month.  I share them not as examples of doing everything right, but to help all of us think about what questions we need to be asking when faced with these kinds of situations.

1. Widow needing money for housing.  There is a widow in our city that we regularly support.  Her husband was a pastor and church planter and passed away a few years ago.  We had a relationship with him and when he died we decided to help this widow with a regular financial gift.  This widow has a son who is in his late teens.  He is not very healthy and has not been able to continue in school because of his poor health.  He does not work.  Recently they came to us and told us that they needed more money for a better house.  They were being persecuted where they lived.  They didn't have freedom to sing songs to Jesus without making the neighbors angry. They wanted us to help them with money to move to a more expensive place where they could freely sing and worship God.

It sounds reasonable right?  So what questions do we need to ask here to avoid dependency and paternalism?  Well, the first question is: are they looking to us or to God to find a solution to their problem?  Are we pointing them back to God?  Is there a way that they could pray and love and do something to make peace with their neighbors?  Another question is whether or not our giving will actually help or hurt them.  It might be possible that by giving them this money we are teaching them to run from their problems rather than solving them.  Maybe they are being rude to their neighbors by singing loudly in the early morning, or maybe they are not working to build bridges of friendship with those who are of different faiths.  Lastly, we need to ask ourselves, what are long term solutions for this widow and her son? How can I truly help them where one day they will not need my support?  Maybe I need to fast and pray for the sick son and then help him to get a job or training in job skills.  Maybe I need to do a bible study with this widow and her son on God's faithfulness and on God as their provider, and then see what God will do for them if I do nothing to help them financially. 

Sometimes, in our busyness it is actually easier to give.  But it is not always the most helpful thing.  It is sometimes easier because then we also don't have to trust God with them to provide...we don't need to exercise our faith, we can just bail them out, help them and the problem goes away.  But be assured. It will return again if you have created dependency.

In my mind, this is a classic case where my giving, though done in love and generosity, may actually weaken rather than strengthen them. 

2. National church planter who keeps making strategic mistakes and doesn't seem to listen to my input. There is a brother that I've been working with for the past five or six years.  He is a very gifted evangelist and quite fruitful.  But he also is a bit scattered and not very focused.  I see a lot of potential in him and when we have given him church planting input and he has applied it there have been amazing results!  But lately, we have been frustrated because he seems to want encouragement more than input.  And he has been making some mistakes that will slow down the growth of his church movement.  He doesn't seem to listen when we point these things out to him. Or he listens and says "yes, yes" but then he does something else and goes back to his traditional ways. 

I asked someone for advice who had been his coach and mentor before.  That person told me that I would get better results with this man, if I would regularly provide some finances to him to run trainings for his people or do other things to help him financially. 

Though I suspect that this is true, and though it may actually lead to the movement growing, I believe this is wrong and unethical.  If I raised money for this man and used money to get him to obey and listen to me, I would be paternalistic and manipulative.  The end does not justify the means. 

Instead, I have to commit myself to something much harder and slower.  I have to build a deep friendship and relationship that is NOT based on money, a relationship of trust.  Then I have to give him the freedom to make his own mistakes and learn from them, even if it means this movement that I so much want to see happen, will slow down and become less fruitful.  In the end, if he only makes good choices because he has no true choice in the matter, I am not developing him into a quality leader.  He is a “slave” still, and will always act like one. And when I leave, he will go back to his old ways.

Again, this is another case where I could easily fall into creating dependency or paternalism.  In this case the paternalism would be for me to think that he is not smart enough to truly understand the strategic issues and make wise choices about these things.  I know better than he does, so I will just decide for him by using financial influence to get him to obey me.

3. A national church planter telling me about their need for food.  A few days ago I made a phone call to one of the church planters I've been regularly trying to encourage.  She and her husband are good people and work hard in the field.  They have very little financial support but they are seeing good fruit in their ministry and people are coming to Christ.  The wife got on the phone and shared with me about the ministry, and then at the end she asked me to pray because they didn't have any food in the house.  I was faced with a problem.  What would I do? 

What questions must I ask to be careful not to create dependency or move into paternalism?  The first question I needed to ask is whether or not this was a situation where relief was needed or a chronic financial problem that needed a long term solution.  Then I need to ask what would happen if I did give?  How would that affect our relationship?  Would they then start looking at me as a source of finance (though perhaps they already do as I'm a foreigner) instead of as a friend and mentor alone?  Was there a way I could help that would NOT create dependency but would actually lead toward a long term solution?  Or should I just pray for them and maybe God would do a miracle that would cause them to look to Him and see His power, glory and love, instead of looking at me as a good person? 

In this case I didn't have good answers so I decided not to give anything yet.  I did pray that God would provide.  And I have been asking him if there is anything He wants me to do.  But I didn't let my natural compassion and pity lead me to give immediately.  I want to be led by God, not my emotions.  I want to be compassionate, but in a way that truly loves them, not just in a way that takes away my guilty feeling of having more than they do.   

I do trust God.  I believe His word is as true for them as it is for me.  His word says that he cares about the sparrows, and the flowers in the field.  I know He is able to provide for them today and that He can miraculously turn their one piece of roti (bread) into enough to feed their family.  He is the God who fed the 5,000.  He is the God who multiplied the widow’s oil.  He is that God for them today, just like He is that God for me.  So, I've decided to trust Him to be that God and to listen to His voice and only give or act when He tells me to do so, not simply because there is a need in front of me that looks desperate.

So often the dependency we create and the financial control we have over others in unintentional.  But that doesn't make it less dangerous.  Our hearts are good.  We truly want to help people who have less than we do.  But the enemy can so easily use this good thing for evil. Our giving may rob them of the more important thing they need-  Faith in God and the freedom and ability to listen to His voice and leading.

Questions to Discuss:

1)   Have you ever faced similar difficult situations where you are unsure about whether to give or not?  Describe them.

2)   What questions did you ask in that situation to make a wise decision?

Money Matters- Avoiding Paternalism and Dependency- Part 1

Money is a very powerful thing.  Having money or access to money gives a certain power.  The lack of adequate financial resources can make one feel helpless.  Some Christian leaders are willing to give up a great deal in order to obtain the finances needed to live well, provide for their families, ministry, or have basic needs met. At times there is a compromising of values, strategies and ideals in order to obtain income. The lack of money can make one feel so desperate.

The way in which we think about and use money is very, very important.

Jesus said we could not serve both God and mammon (money). He also said to be on our guard against all kinds of greed.  He told us not to worry about material things; food, clothing, etc.  He told us that the Father knew what we needed and would be faithful to give these things to us.  But sometimes we compromise to gain finances.  And sometimes once we have enough money, even in our generosity we use that money inappropriately.

In my leadership role in South Asia, I've been talking a lot about two words related to money and missions.  One is the word dependency, the other is paternalism.  In this article, let’s talk a bit more about these two words.  Dependency is when we develop an unhealthy relationship with a donor where we start to look to them as the supplier of our needs rather than to God.  Who is responsible for the problem of dependency?  Is it the donor, or the person receiving the money?  I believe both are responsible for allowing dependency, though the greater responsibility is on the donor. 

Many times dependency happens without our realizing it.  We give out of the goodness of our hearts, wanting to help.  We give without thinking through the long term consequences.  We don't ask the right questions of the situation.  We don't ask whether or not our giving truly helps the person receiving the money to grow in dignity, faith, and to be what God has called them to be. Sometimes our giving makes them weaker and puts them in a place where they need you, the donor, in order to survive. 

Giving and receiving is biblical.  It’s right.  But giving when it causes someone to look to you instead of God takes them away from Him, rather than pushing them toward Him.  This doesn't help them, it hurts them. 

As a missionary serving in Asia for the past 20 years I've faced many, many situations where I was presented with a need where my giving could either help or hurt.  I've made a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I've given and caused dependency, where those I gave to started to look to me as their source of help instead of God.  Sometimes I've given and then used the power over them which my giving created, to make them do what I wanted them to do.  It was never obvious or out in the open that I was doing that. Usually I was hardly conscious of it. Using financial power over people to influence them is a very subtle, but dangerous form of control. 

Let me describe a hypothetical situation to make it clearer.  Let's say I’m teaching about church planting movements (cpm) and that is my passion.  I really want everyone to be as excited about CPMs as I am and to embrace that strategy. I really believe in this strategy and think it is the most effective way to reach the unreached.  So I meet an Indian DTS student and we become friends.  I can see they have potential.  I decide to help them do an SOFM so I finance their DTS fees.  They later want to get married, so I help provide a lot of the money for the wedding. They see me as their older sister.  They love and appreciate me. But God is calling them to work with Kings Kids (Children's ministry), not to be involved in CPMs.  They share their vision with me, but I'm not excited about that vision.  I had a lot of hope that they would work in church planting and do SOFM. 

I'm faced with a choice.  Will I use my financial power to manipulate them and cause them to stay in church planting where I want them?  Or will I release them to follow God's plans?  It's very tempting here.  I know that because I've helped them so much financially, they will listen to me and probably do what I tell them to do, especially if I offer to finance them as they do it.  If I offer to support them as they join a cp team, that is probably what they will do, even though it’s not what they are called to do or their vision.  But we really need church planters!  And it’s not wrong for them to church plant.  But it IS wrong to use money and financial influence to control people.

So what is the right thing to do here?  Well, first is that they shouldn't be dependent on me. My generosity could lead toward their looking to me instead of God.  Maybe I need to stop giving to them, and instead look for a donor they can connect with directly rather than through me.  Or maybe I need to help them start an income generation project where they can make money and then have control over it for themselves.  This frees them to listen to God for personally and do what He is saying, not feel they have to do what I am saying as their rich and generous friend or elder “sister/didi”. 

What is the wrong thing to do here?  The wrong thing to do is to offer them a financial incentive to do what I want them to do.  If for example, I suggest that they join a church planting team and tell them that I will help pay for their housing and food on that team, but that I'm sorry I can't help them if they want to join Kings Kids. As long as they listen to me, do what I think is best, and as long as they are loyal to me, they will receive financial help from me.  But if they start to have other visions and feel God is leading them elsewhere then I will remove my help.  This is unhealthy dependency and using financial control to manipulate people.

It is sometimes a fine line.  Financial manipulation is not always intentional.  But make no mistake, it is still very dangerous.  I'm not saying that money that is given for one particular thing should be used for other things.  If, for example, there are resources given for Church planters in South Asia, we can't give those to people who are working with Kings Kids or DTS.  It's not wrong to designate gifts for a particular ministry.  But it is wrong when you don't give people freedom to make decisions on their own. It’s wrong when you cause them to have to do what you want (consciously or unconsciously) because of your financial power over them.

It is also dangerous to raise money for people and have the money always come through you and to never connect those people to the donors directly.  Sometimes we do this because of language issues.  We are Swedish and we have a Bangladeshi staff who can't speak Swedish.  We ask a church back home to support them and so we have to be the person to communicate with them because of language.  This is not necessarily wrong (though it would be better if you helped a Bangladeshi church you have relationship with to support them if possible).  But it can become wrong if you take the full responsibility for all communications and if you do not allow them access to the church directly.  Then you have control.  This is true even if you never touch that money and it all goes through your office staff, etc.

In these kinds of situations, we as missionaries and leaders have made many, many mistakes.  We give them the money from the church, we write the reports back to the church, and the local missionary never learns how to interact appropriately with donors. We are making them handicapped, not truly helping them except with their immediate need.  This is dependency.  If we leave, or if we get angry with them or our relationship with them somehow is damaged, then they lose their support. 

Instead, we need to connect them directly and let that church truly become their supporter.  We must teach them how to relate to the church in a good way.  We can teach them how to write newsletters in Bangla and then translate them for them into English or Swedish.  But the responsibility to write is theirs.  If they don't write, then no report goes.  If no report goes, they may lose their support.  But then they learn that communication with donors is important if you want to keep donors- an important lesson that actually empowers them. 

Never do something for them that they can do themselves. If they don't know how to do something, teach them.  Don't assume that they can't learn or take responsibility. Don't treat them like a child who is incapable of doing anything.  This is paternalism- when we take the role of a parent with an adult and treat them as a child. We take care of them and do things for them that they are actually capable of doing themselves.  This does not help and in the long run it could make them weak and handicapped.

Whether you are a foreigner or an Indian, Nepali or Bangladeshi, we all need to be very careful about how we both receive money, how we give it and  out and how we raise it for others.  It is very easy to create dependency and hurt those we are actually trying to help.

Some questions to discuss:

1) Have you seen examples of dependency or paternalism around you?

2) How can we avoid becoming dependent or creating dependency in others we give to?

3) What is paternalism?

Is it Biblical to Count Fruit and Report Numbers?

Is it Biblical to Count Fruit and Report Numbers?

                There are some people in our organization who have resisted the idea of counting and reporting of numbers.  I think I understand their hearts.  Sometimes when we count the number of believers and churches we have started, pride can come into our lives.  Or, if our numbers are low, we can feel discouraged.  I remember Youth Pastors meetings in my early ministry life where I felt so discouraged that the number of youth in my youth group was small. I hated being asked by someone how many youth I had at my church!  Pride, insecurity, and a spirit of competition are certainly important things to guard our hearts against.  We should also be careful not to become business minded or to look at our numbers for confidence instead of looking to God.  This was actually the problem that God was trying to correct in David’s life when he told him at one time after he was very successful, not to count the army (2 Sam 24).

                Sadly, some who have had bad experiences in this area base their entire understanding of this on this one time where God prohibited counting in David’s life.  Instead, we need to look at the entire Bible and see what it says about counting, numbers, and the importance of reporting.  Indeed, I believe that counting and accurate reporting of what God is doing through our ministry is very, very important to God and that it greatly pleases Him. 

                First of all, if God didn’t care about numbers, he wouldn’t have named an entire book of the Bible “Numbers”!  The Old Testament is full of numbers!  For one example, check out all the numbers listed in 1 Chronicles Ch 5-9.  In the New Testament, in Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of a good shepherd who counts His sheep.  The shepherd carefully keeps track and counts to see if any sheep are missing.  When he finds that one is gone, he goes in search of it.  Jesus uses this parable to describe His heart for the Lost.  I believe this story also speaks to us about how important every individual person is to him.  Sometimes, as church planters, we are not very good shepherds.  We are not careful to count and to check what is actually happening to those who are coming to faith.  Have we gained or lost sheep this year?  Counting helps us to keep track, to evaluate and make necessary changes. It helps us to see if we are losing or gaining precious souls in God’s kingdom.  We count and report because we want to be careful and good shepherds who love their sheep, just like Jesus!

                Another example that I’ve been talking about lately is the parable of the Minas found in Luke 19.  In this story, the nobleman calls for a report of what was done with what had been given.  Each year, when we count and report, we are able to see clearly and accurately what God is doing.  If reporting wasn’t important to God, I don’t think this parable would be in the Bible.  Will we be willing to be truly accountable for increasing what God has given us, both to God and to one another?

                Lastly and perhaps most importantly, reporting helps us to give glory to God for what He has done.  If numbers go up, God gets the glory.  We celebrate and praise Him! How will we know if supernatural increase is happening if we don’t count? If numbers go down or stay the same, we don’t need to feel bad or beat ourselves up.  In that case, we pray and evaluate where we need to make changes and determine in our hearts to pray and work to see something different happening in the future.

                We would never want anyone to feel pressured to produce reports of greater fruit then what they have.  As mentioned above, we MUST NOT enter into pride or competition and we need to guard our hearts against insecurity too.  If someone else reports great increase, we celebrate together what God has done!  If someone reports lower numbers, we stand together in prayer and think together how to help bring about change and greater fruit in that place or among that people group.  We must be honest and use great integrity in the reports we give.  God cares about accuracy and giving a complete and honest report of the truth (See Acts 5 for just how important honesty is to God!) And, we must be careful about releasing names and numbers to the wrong people or in a way that compromises our long term security and ministry. This however, should not keep us from reporting.

From the above examples, I’m sure we can all see that counting and reporting is definitely Biblical. Counting and reporting will greatly help us to glorify God, be good stewards and shepherds, to move forward in greater faith, and to correct ourselves in areas where we need to change in order to see increased fruitfulness in the future.  Let’s fill out our reports with a pure heart to please the Master and to be faithful to Him!