How to say "No" with Honor and Respect

How to say a Powerful “No” with Honor, Respect and Freedom

We are often faced with choices and put in situations where we end up doing things because we are supposed to or attending meetings or functions because we feel we should or are afraid that if we don’t, we will make others unhappy or they might feel bad. 

First, doing things because we are supposed to, should or are fearful of others reactions are not healthy motivations in us.  Nor do they lead to fruitfulness.  They come from a bondage to a religious spirit and to the law, rather than the Spirit of God who brings us freedom and the new covenant of grace.

So how do we say “no” to those things and the pressures others put on us to do or be what they want and expect us to be?

I’ve faced this in my life and in my organization a lot.  Its always been a weight on my shoulders.  My heart deeply desires to honor and respect my friends, colleagues, and organizational family.  I want to serve and bless others and really hate being a cause of others discouragement or pain.  I’d like to suggest some ways we can say “no” with honor, whether it be to our family, or friends, or leaders and colleagues. A way that we can live a lifestyle that is powerful and calls others to be powerful people who release others to live freely in God.

When faced with a request to attend something or participate in something that isn’t on your heart and isn’t your primary focus or calling, you could respond this way.

Thank you so much for all you are doing and the heart you have for this area.  Im really blessed by your life and leadership and passion to see God’s kingdom come here.  Im really excited about the things God is doing in and through my life too.

In regard to your request, would you be willing to release me to choose if I want to come to this or do this without any fear of whether or not you will agree with my decision?  In the spirit of our values, would you be willing to trust me to listen to God for myself, and weigh those things you’ve invited me to join in on, with the priorities God is giving me as I listen to Him about my life? I’d really like to be released by you to say yes or no to this without being afraid I will disappoint you if I don’t do what you want me to, or if God leads me another direction.  What do you think? I’d really like to be the kind of leader who gives people freedom to hear from God and do what He is saying and prioritize what He is asking them to prioritize.  I know you want to be that kind of leader too! 

If we are going to see abundant harvest and supernatural increase, we MUST move closer to being like Jesus and only doing what the Father is doing and only saying what the Father is saying.  We must break free from our bondage to the shoulds and supposed tos and walk in the freedom and lightness of only carrying the yoke He gives us, as He walks beside us making it light.  This action of saying no is the action of a powerful person who sets boundaries and doesn’t allow others to control them with guilt or manipulation.  We can do this with honor, kindness, humility and respect.

Some leaders will respond well to this and be blessed.  Some will react and get angry.  That is okay.  We are not responsible for their reactions, they are.  We are only responsible to be honorable, and faithful to the calling and directions of our Papa.  This is where we will see his blessing, anointing, and will walk with joy, freedom and see the dreams He has put in our hearts come true. And, this is how we will be a great blessing to our organization too!